Rabu, 10 Februari 2010


..and I opened up my eyes. I took a deep breath and sat on my bed. I looked behind me, there was a boy, lying on the bed with the duvet covering his face.

I walked to the door, passed the stair. I checked in my pocket, there was a key chain. I selected a key, and opened up the front door. The cold air blew inside into my house. I can see the two Christmas tree in front of my house. It was night time.

It was very cold.

I close my eyes, and said inside my head "It is very warm here, this place is not cold"

And the cold air suddenly turned warmer, and warmer.

I believe in the power of thinking, that is if you believe in something, then thing is true to yourself.

'Believing is seeing', that is what I understood about human mind.

I stepped outside my house, walking down the 3 stony stair. As I reached the front yard, I looked above to the sky. There was some clouds there, and I couldn't see much of the stars that night. What a disappointment.

And I closed my head, and said inside in my head, "I can control my body. I can control my mind. This place is under my control. I am moving upward. I am flying"

And my feet tilted slowly into the air. As I can barely feel my feet touching the ground, I opened up my eyes. "Free my mind, I can move to everywhere I can"

"And I choose to move towards the grey clouds above"

I can feel my body flowing, and floating on the air. As I got higher, I looked down below. I saw a beautiful bulding. It was the town hall. I went straight down as fast as I could and stepped on the dome of the town hall. I jumped down,into the crowd below.

Oh damn! These were drunken people. Some of them walked towards me. I tried to dodge them, I don't want to hit them. Those people just got out of that Red Leopard or something. Suddenly one of them walked in front of me and towards me, and when he was about to collide with me face to face he suddenly just passed through me. Now I realised that I am invisible to them.

I jumped back cross the road.

The town hall was very beautiful.

I wished that my girlfriend would be here with me now.

Oh yeah, of course. I'll just go to her.

I said to myself "I am in Malaysia, the place here is warm, the wind here is nice"

And slowly the town hall began to fade, and a white building appeared.

It was the college of my girlfriend.

I walked into the college. It was the same as back in Leeds. It was still in the night. She must be sleeping.

I went inside her room, and sat on her bed. I watched her sleep.

That is, the most beautiful face I have ever seen. The face that first captivated my heart about 2 years ago.

She was sleeping.

I havent slept yet. I remembered that I was looking at her picture in the Facebook before I walked out of my room.

But something odd there, and I just realised it. There was a guy sleeping on my bed.

I couldn't see his face, but his hair was long, same as mine.

No, it couldn't be.

That was me.

I must be in my dream now.

I must be sleeping now.

No! I dont want to wake up!

Suddenly I felt something dark was pulling me back. I tried to gasp for my girlfriend. My hand was about to reach her when I was dragged slowly further from her.

No! I don't want to wake up!


I can feel that I'm being drag into the air, into the dark cloud up to the sky. Very fast. On my way I can see some aeroplanes bursting through the dark icy night of the stratosphere.

I was pulled faster, and faster.

No! I dont want to wake up!

And I can feel my body was slowly pulled to the ground. I can see the two Christmas tree now. I was dragged through the door. To my bed. To the 'sleeping me'.

As my body unified with that sleeping me, I opened up my eyes.

Thousand of dissatisfaction feeling now felt inside my heart. Anger, too.

Damn. Bad dream again.

The feeling was intense. Total dissatisfaction. Of what? I don't know. It was just like something was totally wrong that makes me angry.

Another mood swing for this night.

I looked at my netbook. Somebody sent me YM.

I hope it was my girlfriend, I really hope so. But bad enough, it wasn't her.

My girlfriend already used to my mood swing that sometime present after I slept.

She would listen to everything that I say. She knew about this.

She's the only one that understood my sleeping problem.

She's my other half.

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